Chaotic Experience
by Angry Santo
Summary: Because Shirou just can't have an ordinary day off.


I was dared by a friend to write AyakoxShirou.

Four Thousand Seven Hundred and Forty Three words of Shirou and Ayako in a date ensued.

Now as they say.

On With The Show!

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"But me no buts!" Said Otoko Hotaruzuka sternly as she stared at her troubled employee.

"B-"

"I order you to take the day off! And that's final!"

"I ca-"

"If you tell me you can't I am shoving a bottle of sake down your throat." Said the woman whist taking hold of a bottle of the liquor and waving it in a threatening manner.

"You wouldn't." Said the young man as he narrowed his eyes.

Neko's only response was to break out into a smile that would make a Cheshire cat proud.

"A-A-Anyways I just remembered something I gotta do bye!" Said Shirou as he made a strategic retreat from the bar at full speed.

Once the redhead was gone, Otoko's smile melted off her handsome face. Sighing, she retreated back around the counter. "Honestly, that kid worries me." Mumbled the barkeep as she took up a glass and a rag.

And so Shirou Emiya found himself in Shinto in the middle of a beautiful day, faced with a daunting enemy that he did not know how to handle.

Free time.

"Well, the tiles of the roof do need repairing so I guess I could do that." Muttered the young man to himself, , turning and walking towards the shopping district to acquire the materials he would need.

"Let's see," murmured Shirou as he reached the shopping mall and headed to the store he needed. "Going to need nails. My mallet is just about done with its service so I'll need to buy a new one. And it would probably would be a good idea to buy a -"

"Emiya? What are you doing here?"

"Huh?" Said Shirou intelligently as he turned in the direction of the person who addressed him. He quickly spotted Ayako Mitsuzuri as she made her way to him, dressed in form fitting blue jeans and a loose long-sleeved white shirt.

Ayako smirked. "Whaddya mean 'hu?' I thought you worked on the weekends, what's up?"

"Ahh, well, my boss sort of ran me off the store, something about 'taking the day off to woo a pretty girl' or something." Answered the redhead absentmindedly. "I thought that I might as well do something constructive with the time and do some maintenance at my place."

Ayako's smirk widened a little and she slapped the redhead's back with excessive force. "But aren't you supposed to go have fun?"

"Meh I'd rather get the repairs going."

"Geez... To think that the ace of the archery club is so hopeless," said Ayako with an infinite sadness in her voice. "Well, you've forced my hand Emiya! C'mon! There is a new arcade that opened a few weeks ago!" said the brunette as she took Shirou's hand and all but dragged him to the second floor.

Shirou's succinct response was to stutter and blush. The feeling of Ayako's small, callused, and warm fingers on his hand making him self-conscious. His hands seemed large and rough compared to Ayako's slender digits.

"Hurry it up Emiya!" Called Ayako. "I'm doing ya the favor of keeping you company so you can at least walk faster!"

It would be a long day for one Shirou Emiya.

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"C'mooooon Emiya! We don't have all day!" Hollered Ayako as she sat outside the men's dressing room.

"Have you any idea how stupid this looks?" Called back the redhead without stepping out of the dressing room.

"How would I know till ya show me eh?"

"I am not walking out. In fact, I am taking this off this instant."

Ayako's smug smirk was almost palpable. "Yeah go right ahead, I'll just throw open the screen in a few moments then!"

A good many of the people in the store turned to stare at Ayako as she made her threat.

"You wouldn't!"

"Emiya, look within yourself and think carefully before you answer this question.

"Am I not a woman of my word?"

Shirou remained quiet for several moments. "This is because I beat your high score at that shooting game isn't it?"

"Yup!"

Grumbling, Shirou threw open the blinds that kept him from the store at large. The sight of him wiped Ayako's smug smirk off her face, her cheeks coloring a bright scarlet.

Even though a little taller than average, when compared to the average Japanese boy his age, Shirou did not normally strike an imposing figure. He usually made sure to wear loose baggy clothing, as a result people were not normally able to see that he was quite solidly built and carried a good amount of muscle on his slender frame.

Ayako had picked out an outfit for him. A pair of form-fitting black slacks, a somewhat tight white shirt and a black overcoat.

Ayako had forced Shirou to wear a butler outfit, having assumed that when he walked out of the dressing room she would get quite a good laugh.

However, she had not counted with the fact that the outfit would accentuate Shirou's muscular frame quite that well. The coldly composed look on his face almost managed to make him look dashing.

"So? How do I look?" Asked Shirou with some exasperation in his voice, wishing only to get out of the suit as quickly as possible.

"I ahh…I ahh…It's…uhh." Was Ayako's brilliant response, her brain having been forced into a reboot by the unexpected sight in front of her.

Shirou finally turned and actually looked at her, noticing that her face was a very vivid red.

"Ayako? Are you feeling alright?" Asked the redhead as he stalked closer to her, causing Ayako's spine to stiffen.

"M-Me? O-Of coursewhywouldyouthinkthatI-W-What are you doing!" Ayako's nervous babbling transformed into a panicked shriek as Shirou gently pulled her bangs off her forehead and inched his face closer to hers.

"Well, I need to see if you are running a fever." Said Shirou as Ayako did what she could to hold him off. "If you are getting sick we might be able to beat the disease if we treat it fast enough."

"B-B-N-No that's unnecesar-"

"Stop squirming!" Said Shirou as he took hold of the back of her head and pulled her to him with enough force that Ayako could no longer hold them apart. The touch of his forehead to hers turned the normally articulate girl into a stuttering wreck.

"You don't seem to have a fever." Murmured the redhead absentmindedly. "But you _are_ rather flushed…what's going on?"

Shirou's warm breath running across Ayako's lips caused the girl to break out into gooseflesh. "E-Emiya…umm…p-personal space?"

At her words Shirou realized the rather intimate pose he kept as he loomed over the girl, holding the back of her head as he pushed their foreheads together.

He was back inside the changing room, red-faced and stammering apologies in the blink of an eye. Having moved so fast that he did not seem to have crossed the intervening space between where he was and where he ended up, but rather teleported to his destination.

"I-I-I'm so sorry I did not mean t-"

"N-No! It's my fault too I mea-"

"B-But it was obviously my fault a-"

"J-Just shut up already Emiya!" Yelled the distraught girl.

"O-Ok I'm sorry!" His last supplication made, Shirou ducked inside the changing room and closed the blinds.

Ayako sat unmoving, trying to get both her breathing and her rapidly pounding heart under control. A moment later she heard mutters, looking around she realized that the entirety of the store was staring at her, most of the women with a look of outmost amusement.

She caught a few murmurs about 'needing to train him better' the very thought caused her face to flush a vivid red again.

She stood and walked to the room Shirou was changing in. "E-Emiya hurry it up already!"

"Ayako? Yeah I'll be right out just give me a minute."

"Well you don't _have _a minute! Hurry it up!"

As Ayako stood there, feeling the incriminating stares of everyone on the store, she, at that precise moment, decided Shirou would pay for this, she did not know nor care why it was his fault, she just knew that it was, and he would be punished accordingly.

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"A-Ayako this is a little…" Said one Shirou Emiya, with a blush so bright it could be confused for a sunset.

"What? Are you telling me you can't do this? Where is your pride as a man?" Asked the brunette with a smirk.

"I _really _don't what this has to do with any of that."

"Objection noted and overruled. Now shut up and say 'ahh'." Said Ayako as she stabbed a piece of meat with her fork and brought it to Shirou's lips.

"A-Ayako you really don't have t-hmpfb" Said the redhead intelligently as Ayako took advantage of his talking to insert the morsel into his mouth, the color of his face darkening to a very healthy vermillion.

Ayako took note of Shirou's increased discomfort and grinned triumphantly. She shifted on her seat to find a more comfortable position, causing Shirou to squirm.

Ayako was surprised at how comfortable the redhead's lap was.

After the debacle at the shop, Ayako had decided that Shirou had to pay in blood for his transgression. As such, she had demanded that he pay for her lunch.

Shirou had readily agreed, thinking that he had gotten off easy.

He had been such a fool.

The moment the food arrived, Ayako walked over to him, pushed his chair back, and sat on his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders for balance.

The look on his face had been priceless.

Ayako had proceeded to insist that sense he was being nice enough to pay for the food, she would have to repay him by feeding him.

Shirou's inability to ignore all the stares they were drawing was so _very_ satisfying.

Left with no other choice, Shirou obediently chewed the morsel the brunette had deposited into his mouth.

"Ne~ Emiya~n" Sibilated Ayako, the heated tone with which she spoke causing a reaction in a certain part of the young man's anatomy, almost breaking the tight control he had been keeping on his member. "I am mighty famished, but as you can see my hands are occupied~"

'_Ohh no, oh please no.' _Thought the redhead frantically, his eyes widening in fearful realization of what Ayako was about to demand. _'No no no no no, no please no, anything but that!'_

"Seeing as to my hands are busy~" Continued the merciless Ayako. "Could you be a gentleman and help me alleviate my hunger?"

Shirou gulped nervously, swallowing the food he had in his mouth, almost chocking on it.

Not trusting himself to speak, he took hold of the fork by her plate and speared a small piece of meat. He began bringing it slowly, almost fearfully, to her lips.

"Aaahh~" Said Ayako expectantly as she stared hungrily into his eyes. Shirou gently deposited the morsel into her mouth, watching as Ayako closed her lips, enraptured as she chewed and swallowed. She then slowly, languidly licked her lips clean.

Shirou gulped.

Ayako's smirk gained a predatory gleam. "Hey Emiya~n, I'm still hungry." Murmured the brunette huskily.

Without conscious input from him, Shirou's hand had prepared another bite for Ayako. The brunet having done the same, they slowly brought their respective utensil to the other's mouth.

"Woooooaa," said Yukika Saegusa as she could no longer suppress her amazement at the scene she was witnessing.

Shirou and Ayako both froze, their illusion of isolation broken into countless pieces as their bubble of privacy was destroyed with an almost audible 'pop'.

For the first time sense the torture of Shirou Emiya began, Ayako's face flushed with color.

"Y-Y-Y-Yukika? W-What are you doing here?" Asked Ayako shrilly.

"Ah!" Said the track club manager, bringing her hands to her mouth when she realized she had made a noise. "P-Please don't mind me I was just…umm…"

Shirou's frozen mind remembered that he was hungry, and so he bit down on the fork that was right in front of his mouth. The movement snapped Ayako's shell-shocked mind out of its stupor.

"Y-Y-Y-Yukika t-this is not what it looks like!" Stuttered the Archery Captain shrilly.

"Ohh? Then do tell what this looks like." Said a cool, quiet, and deep soprano. The voice caused Ayako to jump, turning to the speaker so quickly that she suffered from whiplash. Kane Himuro stood in front of her, an ever so slight smile gracing her lips and a light of utmost delight shining from her eyes.

"H-H-Himuro, t-this is _really_ not what you think it is!" Answered Ayako frantically, waving her free hand in front of her face, managing only to bring attention to the fork still clutched in her slender fingers.

Ayako's blush intensified and she dropped the fork unto one of the plates.

"Ooooh?" Answered Kane as her smirk widened. "Then do please tell me, what _do_ I think this is?"

Ayako only managed to stutter.

"I must say." Said Kaede Makidera as she stood behind Shirou's chair. "I did not see this flag, did not see it at all. Emiya you are one lucky guy eh?"

"K-Kaede?" Said Ayako with a measure of calm, her mind having been strained to the point where she could no longer react to further shock.

"Yup! The Black Panther of Homura at your service!" Said Kaede, striking a pose. "But still Ayako, to think that you could so shamelessly rush forth and claim the prize…I must say I did not think you had it in you."

"W-Well…ahh…you see…I just wanted to teach Emiya a lesson and then I did something to embarrass him and then I just went with the flow and then I just got caught up in the momen-"

Realizing that her running mouth would serve only to incriminate her, Ayako stilled her lips, but the damage was done.

The track trio huddled together and began to happily whisper among each other. Ayako could catch the words "Shameless" "Forward" "Unladylike" "Lucky" and "C-Cute" among others.

Shirou's mind had never really managed to reboot. His stomach however, demanded more food, as such he stabbed another morsel from his plate and silently brought it to his mouth.

His action caused all four of the girls to immediately stop what they were doing and stare at him. Their intense scrutiny snapped him out of his stupor.

"What?"

"E-Emiya…you."

"Indirect Kiss." Squeaked Yukika Saegusa in a barely audible whisper.

Realization of what he had done hit Shirou like a thunderbolt. His face which had regained its normal coloration could have lit up a night sky, so hard was his blush.

"I-I mean…I just…It's."

Ayako's mouth opened and closed several times, having been driven speechless by Shirou's action. When she regained speech, she pouted and made a sullen declaration. "E-Emiya no ecchi."

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"Man that was embarrassing." Muttered Shirou as he absentmindedly walked into the park, turning his face unto a passing breeze in order to try to cool off his still flushed face.

"I can't _believe _you'd do that Emiya. You are sneakier than I thought you were." Said Ayako sullenly as she stared at the ground, chagrined that her plan to torture Shirou had backfired so spectacularly.

"Don't blame me! I'm the victim here!"

"Like hell Emiya! It was all clearly your fault!"

Shirou considered continuing with the argument, before sighing. "Yeah, you're right, it's all my fault."

Ayako narrowed her eyes. "You are not saying that just to appease me are you?"

"No. I honestly believe it's all my fau-gah! Why did you hit me!" Demanded Shirou as he rubbed the back of his head after Ayako slapped him.

"So that you will repent for real!" Said the brunette as she wound her arm for another go.

Shirou did the manly thing and strategically retreated. He was most certainly not running away, and the sounds coming from his mouth were belligerent warcries to intimidate his opponent. He was not hollering like a little girl as he ran away from a teenage lass he outweighed by at least forty pounds.

A few minutes later, Shirou stopped and collapsed to the floor, turning his head so he could face the cloud covered sky. All the while trying in vain to still his laughter and regain control of his breathing.

"HA!" Screamed Ayako in between pants. "I…finally…caught you! You little…coward!" Her declaration made she collapsed next to the redhead.

The two remained as they were for a few moments until Ayako started to laugh. Soon Shirou joined her and before they knew it, the two were laughing uncontrollably.

After a few moments Shirou quieted and thought over his day up to that point and had an epiphany.

He had had fun, quite a lot of it in fact.

The very thought twisted his stomach.

Shirou Emiya, sole survivor of the Shinto fire did not deserve to have fun. For all the people who were lost, for all those who died. Shirou had to make it up to them by becoming a hero who saved everyone.

What right did he have, he who ignored countless cries for help, to have fun?

As he lay there on the cooling ground, stubborn patches of grass clinging grimly to life in the barren field of what used to be a place where people lived, quarreled, and smiled. He realized something. Something which made him chuckle with a grim quality as he slowly, languidly stretched his arm to the cloud covered heavens, as if trying to reach for the darkened skies. Or maybe, just maybe, trying to uselessly scream _'I am here'__._

"Emiya?" Ayako's whisper broke through his dark revere, causing the redhead to start and turn to her, his arm straining toward the heavens almost against his will. "Emiya, what's up?"

"Did you know Ayako." Said Shirou slowly as he returned his eyes to the heavens, the words wrenching themselves from his lips in a monotone, his eyes and tone losing the light they normally held. "Ten years ago there was a fire in Shinto, pretty bad thing. A little under five hundred people died in it."

"Yeah everyone knows that. Rather than rebuild, this park was made as a sort of memorial right?" Answered the girl slowly, trying to figure out where the redhead was going.

"Yeah…I guess so." Answered the redhead as he contemplated the grey skies. "I guess…I guess that is right."

"What do you mean?"

Shirou remained quiet for the space of a full minute, trying to structure his feelings into some form of coherent speech. Realizing that he couldn't, he was about to tell Ayako to forget it.

"It was a strange experience honestly." Said Shirou as his hand remained steady as a rock in its quest to capture the skies. "Walking through the streets, throat burned from heat and smoke, listening to the screams of people form a chaotic harmony.

"There were those who were completely unharmed yet stood wailing.

"There were those who had been burnt beyond recognition, yet simply stood there, staring around with sightless eyes.

"And…there was one who walked through it all. Looking at them all: Those who gave help and died for it. Those who begged for salvation and died anyways. Those who held out a child for him to carry to safety. Those who fought for survival tooth and nail and others who gave into despair.

"In the end, there were only those who called to him to just stop and rest beside them. So that they would not die alone.

"He never once answered, never once turned, never once acknowledged he was even being called. By that time he was dead. Just a little less than a walking corpse. In the process of fighting to survive, he gave up the desire to live.

"It was here…right here. I collapsed. I wanted to keep walking…I could not remember why, except that I had to keep moving. But my legs just couldn't anymore, and I realized 'ah…I'm going to die.' To tell you the truth I welcomed it. Why should I live when everyone else died? Why should I be saved when I did not heed the call of all those who reached out to me?

"It started to rain, the water felt cold. But I could not really find any interest in it. 'The fire will go out' I thought 'at least that's a start'. And so that was it, the end of the road.

"Even so…I still wanted to live…I still wanted to survive, to be saved. And I reached out to the sky, just like so, thinking that maybe I could catch the clouds…or maybe I wasn't thinking at all.

"I look back to today and realize…what the hell am I doing? I don't deserve this…why should I get to enjoy these things when I denied them to all those who asked for my help? Why should I smile when they can't anymore?

"I just…I just realized…I don't have the right. I should strive harder to help others, give others the happiness I don't deserve." His final declaration made, Shirou's hand slowly, ever so slowly descended. Before it could impact against his chest, a small warm hand took his hand in a viselike grip.

Shirou stared at the hand holding his own, holding it steady against the pull of gravity. Not understanding why the hand shook so. His eyes flowed up to the wrist, followed the arm all the way to a shaking shoulder, until he could see the weeping face of Ayako Mitsuzuri.

"A-Ayako what's wrong!" Demanded the redhead as he began to sit up.

Ayako's other hand pushed him roughly back to the ground.

"E-Emiya." Said the girl in a trembling voice. "Y-Y-You…_YOU GODDAMMED IDIOT!"_ Screamed the brunette as she slapped Shirou so hard he heard a ringing in his ear.

"Why the _hell_ do you think you get to arbitrarily decide what you do or don't deserve!"

"B-But I don-" He was silenced as Ayako backhanded him hard enough to split his lip.

"_Shut up! _You don't get to say something so sad! Just who the _hell_ do you think you are? 'I don't have the right'_ my ass!_" The Brunette punctuated her last sentence by driving her fist into Shriou's stomach hard enough to bruise her knuckles.

"Just who do you think you are! You can't just decide to not be happy!"

"As I sai-"

"_Shut up! _Shut up! Shut up. Shut up. Shut up." The brunette punctuated her fading cries with ever weakening strikes.

"Goddammit, Emiya." Sobbed Ayako as she held Shirou's hand to her chest and simply wept.

After a few moments of silence, Shirou opened his mouth. He had to say something, anything. No matter that he would likely get slapped again, he had to comfort the girl sitting beside him. He had to defend his ideal, his beliefs.

He did not know what he had to do. He just knew he had to speak.

At that precise moment, thunder rolled and it began to rain.

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Shirou stood in his kitchen, quietly cooking a meal for two and fighting against an emotion he had little familiarity with.

Fury.

Hi anger was such that even the normally calming process of crafting a meal did nothing to alleviate it. He had to be careful to suppress the shaking of his hands lest he cut one of his chilled fingers.

When the rain had begun to fall at the park Shirou had opted to part ways, but Ayako stubbornly clung to his hand, refusing to be separated from him. In the end he had offered her the chance to stay at his home while the rain stopped, a prospect to which she agreed.

By the time they arrived they were both soaked to the bone. Never once through the long trek had Ayako consented to release Shirou's hand.

Shirou prepared a warm bath for Ayako, shooting down her protests that he should go in first. He had dry clothes to change into, she did not. As such he prepared a set of Taiga's clothes for her to wear once she finished with her bath, taking a set of his own clothing and setting it down in the bath room to save himself the bother later.

Forty minutes later the rain had not shown any sign of stopping and he'd begun to work on dinner.

"Hey Emiya…I'm done with the bath." Came Ayako's quiet voice from the living room just as he was finishing with the preparation of dinner.

Shirou grit his teeth, did what he could to prevent them from grinding against each other.

"Good, dinner's ready." He answered in a monotone. "About what you said on the park." Began Shirou as he turned around, his anger leaking into his tone. However the sight of her caused him to choke on his words.

Ayako Mitsuzuri was wearing his shirt.

And judging by the fact that he had thrown her clothes on the washer a while back, and for the life of him he had not been able to find a set of Taiga's underwear, it was likely she wasn't wearing anything else.

Not to mention the very electric blush on her face.

"Bueh?" Was the redhead's brilliant commentary.

"T-Taiga's clothes didn't fit me." Answered Ayako quietly. "The dress was too loose on the hips and too tight on the chest."

"Ahh…I ahh…I see." Said Shirou as he fought the desire to ogle her long legs and did what he could not to stare at those creamy white thighs.

"A-Anyways what's for dinner?"

"Ahh…n-no before that." Said Shirou as he grabbed unto his anger like a drowning man might grab unto driftwood. "We…we need to talk about what happened in the park."

Ayako took a deep breath, she had been afraid of this. "Look Emiya…I'm sorry I hit you but I'm not wrong, what you said…that's not healthy."

Shirou slowly shook his head. "It's not wrong Ayako…you weren't there, you can't know."

Slowly, Ayako stalked closer, and staring at the floor she took his hands before speaking softly, almost in a whisper. "Emi…S-Shirou…I just…I heard you say that…I saw the truth of it in your eyes. You honestly believe that you don't deserve to be happy. That's not right…that's just not right. Out of everyone I know, you are the one who deserves it the most."

"No Ayako…no I don't."

Shirou's declaration caused her to tighten her hands on his until her knuckles popped. "Why? Tell me why? Why can't you be happy?"

"Because I can't, I don't deserve it. You didn't see their eyes, their pleading looks. You didn't hear them beg for help. Shirou Emiya does not deserve normal happiness, not after he denied it to countless others." Shirou felt warm drops fall on his hands.

"Dammit Emiya. That's not right, that not right at all."

"I don't believe that. The desire to help others can't be wrong. To say that it is wrong is denying the very existence of Shirou Emiya…if that's wrong…I don't see how I could live with myself."

Ayako let go of his hands.

Shirou sighed. He was glad that she had seen reason, but he could not help but feel saddened. He had a strange feeling that this would be the end of their friendship.

When she embraced him in a rib-creaking hug and buried her face in his chest, it came as a complete surprise.

"I'm going to make you happy Shirou." Mumbled the girl without lifting her face from his chest. "I am going to make you happy whether you want to or not. Do you hear that?"

"A-Ayako?" As Shirou stood there, unsure of what exactly had just transpired, his hands slowly, almost as if from their own accord, returned her embrace, stilling the trembles that had plagued her slender frame.

The door banged open. "Shiroou~! Onee-san had a fight with grandpa so she's come to play~!"

Everyone in the room froze, a blush so bright emanating from the faces of the two teenagers that one could think that two suns were rising at dawn.

"Shirou…" Said Taiga Fujimura as a shadow of outmost despair and malice settled about her like a cloak. "Shirou…I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO BE LIKE THIS!" Roared the tiger of Fuyuki, causing a despaired sob to be uttered by the two teenagers.

It was a long night for Shirou and Ayako.

Neither one noticed that their fingers remained intertwined through the entire debacle.


End file.
